GRILKA
By Riz Kara Khey'Ra Ch'tach

This story is written for entertainment, not profit. We acknowledge that the names etc. are the property of Paramount/Viacom. We are merely borrowing them. If you have any comments, please write to the authors above.


I am an old man. Perhaps I have lived too long. Anyhow, for whatever reason, the fancy came upon me to write a record of the events of the past few extraordinary years. I first felt that I should record the amazing twists of fate that have beset the House I serve when we were returning from a visit to a space station called Deep Space 9. I refer to myself, Tumek, and my mistress Grilka.

Indeed, it is extraordinary enough that a woman should head a great House, so perhaps I need no excuses for my rambling attempts to explain some of her history. I am tempted to begin with the story of our visit to the space station, but I think it wisest if I tell the tale in chronological order, starting with the day Grilka came into the House as the bride of Kosak.

She was very young, very beautiful and very much in love. Kosak was every bit as besotted with her. They were in every way the epitome of the golden couple. He was already the head of the House and had seat on the High Council. She was from a family every bit as wealthy though somewhat less powerful, and for both it was a love match.

I was as close to them as anyone but I sensed no sign of trouble till they had been married for well over a year. Then their relationship became more stormy. It was clear to me why this was so. Both had expected that there would have been a child by now. Kosak confided in me that he thought Grilka might have a problem, and I suggested that if he was truly concerned, they might see a doctor. The idea angered him but he could see the sense in it, so eventually a discrete appointment was made, and the doctor carried out his tests.

The results were a shattering blow to him. The problem lay not with her but with him. He was infertile and would never father a child without substantial medical intervention. This was of course unthinkable. Yet if his problem became known he would become a laughing stock. I believe other races take a different attitude but we are Klingons. Our way is our way. He had good reason to despair. He became careless in matters concerning our House, a drunken bully towards other members of the House, including Grilka, a reckless gambler, and even neglectful of his High Council duties. No-one could doubt that they were beholding a man destroying himself. Every great House has enemies. They hover looking for weakness, and in no time the House of Kosak was beset by a sea of troubles.

I never understood why Grilka did not divorce him. There would have been no dishonour when her husband seemed so set on self-destruction. Her family would have taken her back. I can only think she must have loved him very much and still felt loyalty to him. As a result, I felt great respect for her and swore an oath to myself that I would always do my best to protect her interests. She was, and still is, a great lady. However, I digress. We did not realise it at the time, but the greatest of the enemies attacking our House was D'Gor. For 7 generations his House had been hostile to ours so in itself this was no surprise. What we had not foreseen was that the attack would be so unKlingon.

D'Gor had proposed to Grilka as soon as she came of age and long before Kozak appeared on the scene. She wasn't ready for marriage and turned him down. He didn't take kindly to being rejected and swore revenge. He would not rest until she was at his mercy and her fortune was his.

He spotted a weakness when Grilka's marriage to Kozak ran into difficulties. All he had to do was find a way to use it to his advantage or better still, make his arch-rival disappear. He followed Kozak like a shadow on his nightly visits to the taverns and inns and watched him gambling. It wasn't difficult to come up with the idea for a cunning plan. He would pay his aides to gamble with Kozak. As the blood wine flew freely, he would reveal all D'Gor needed to know to access Kozak's fortune. When the book-keeping blunders came to light the finger of blame would be firmly pointed at Kozak. Everybody knew about his gambling habit would think he fiddled the books to cover his gambling debts. Grilka would divorce him and he would be discharged from the High Council and then either exiled or put to death! D'Gor was very pleased with himself. This plot could not fail. He even considered taking the matter a little further; perhaps he could offer Kozak a loan when his money ran out ...

Grilka didn't see her husband for days and when he did come home, there was no way to communicate with him. He was either drunk or fast asleep. She became increasingly worried. This man would come to a terrible end one day, she thought. When news of his demise reached her, she was absolutely devastated. D'Gor, on the other hand, was delighted. Everything was going to plan and Kozak's death was a bonus. He decided to keep his distance for a while before claiming Grilka's house.

Little did Grilka know how desperate Kozak's situation was. Their vast fortune seemed to have vanished into nothingness. What happened? I suspect that Kozak had tried to make sense of it all as he sat in Quark's Bar drinking one glass of blood wine after another but the pieces just wouldn't fall into place. Twenty glasses of blood wine later, Quark, the Ferengi bartender, refused to serve him. Kozak got angry. There was a struggle and then things went blank for him. The next thing he'd have known, he was on a boat. It took a while before it sank in that he was a passenger on the barge of the dead, heading for Klingon hell. Surely there had to be a way to get off that barge?

There was plenty of time to reflect on his life as he was travelling along. The film, "This is your life" was rolling before his very eyes, only this time he was the spectator. He should have known that his enemies would spot his weaknesses and use them to their advantage. I expect he looked at his image, in a drunken stupor, staggering along, quite often not knowing what he was saying or doing. It must have hurt to discover that it was he who made it possible for D'Gor to access books of his House by letting him know the password to his computer. A little creative book-keeping here and there, and it looked as if the House Of Kozak was close to bankruptcy. Very clever. He could see the grin on D'Gor's face.

Kozak must have become very angry and frustrated. Grilka had to know the truth, and she had to be warned, thus she protect herself against D'Gor, but who would be able to balance the books? There was only person he could think of - Quark, the Ferengi bartender, who sent him on this journey to hell. He would have to go to Qo'nos to balance the books and restore the riches and the good reputation of the House Of Kozak. This would set Kozak free and get him that ticket to Sto-Vo-Kor.

No one who'd lived the last few years of his life as Kozak had was destined to live for ever, but Grilka had never expected the end to come like this. Murdered by a Ferengi! Her husband would become the laughing stock of the Empire when the news got out - and so by extension, would she. The look in my eyes when I'd come to tell her had made that clear. Of course I'd tried to hide the pity but she knew me too well. That things had come to this, what did she have to look forward to? Spending the rest of her life on her brother's estate as a pitiful and pitiable dependent with no money and no name!!!!!!!!! No by the Gods she would not! Everything had started out so well and with such promise, she wasn't about to retire into obscurity. Grilka didn't know everything that had happened, although she could guess a lot of it and she needed time to plan for the future.

I was worried; Kozak and Grilka had hardly been love birds in the last few years but to take it this hard? She'd locked herself in her chambers and wouldn't answer the door. I was debating on whether I should summon her brother, Mazan, when the door was flung open and Grilka flew past me like a whirlwind. She was carrying the family ceremonial dagger and a communicator. As she reached the main hall, she turned. "I'll be back - prepare guest chambers; we're expecting guests - reluctant guests I'm sure." Before I could say anything more, she'd left me standing in the open door way. Days passed by as I fielded calls from 'concerned' relatives and creditors. The most worrying call had been from the comptroller of the High Council who had notified me of an impending visit. The comptroller only made such visits in order to draw up an inventory of possessions for dispersal - dispersal meant the end of the House. As I pondered this, I heard the sound of a transporter beam in the main hall.

She'd done it - exactly what she wasn't sure but action was progress. Calling me, she told me to watch over their guest whilst she made preparations. As she made those 'preparations' I began to realise what she was planning and felt, well, I didn't really know what to feel - apart from stunned that is.

Over the course of the next few days, it was as if I was living in the heart of a hurricane and was about to be consumed by forces greater than I could comprehend. She'd married that Ferengi, then divorced him and throughout, I'd been unable to predict her next step. But one thing at least was now clear, the House was rich, very rich and was respectable once again and Grilka had become its head. As I conducted business and ran the day to day affairs, the House was spoken of with respect. I was an old man and had seen the affairs of the family play as though its members were riding a wild beast, but by the Gods all that was behind them. Even the advent of war with the Federation couldn't change that - could it?

Grilka was bored, very bored. Not from running the House, no, that could never be described as boring. Challenging, maddening, crazy making certainly, but never boring. She just found it so isolating and restrictive. Mazan had complimented her on her stewardship of the family estates and investments. I confess I was as happy as a targ in heat with their growth in prosperity, and everyone was she met was so damned respectful. Was this it, she wondered? Was this all life held for her? She'd heard that some female rulers lived as icons of purity, tradition and honour - and all of those were good things (in theory) but they didn't keep you warm at night did they? She wanted fun and she knew just where to get it!

Thus began another phase in Grilka's story. As Head of a great House in her own right she was of course extremely eligible, and she decided to play the field in a most disgraceful manner. The episode with the Ferengi had been bad enough, though she had never pretended to like him or have any sexual interest in him. He had merely been a convenience to her and had shown her the way to regain the family fortunes. I am sure the spirit of Kozak was behind it all and that he had now gone to join the Honoured Dead. At least I hope so. He would not have been pleased at the games Grilka got up to. If I had not sworn loyalty to her I'd have been tempted to retire to the county and distance myself from such carryings-on. She behaved just he way you might expect some of the less traditional rich young lords to behave. From them it is bad enough, but for a female to act so.... Well, I admit I was shocked. She surrounded herself with young men and I know for certain that more than one of them were her lovers.

I dread to think where it might all have ended but for the fact that, inspired by what we thought was General Martok (in reality a Changeling who had assumed his form), Gowron declared war. All the great Houses were expected to provide ships and men for the war. Had Grilka been a man and had a seat on the High Council she could have exercised some restraint on the demands made on our House. As it was, the amounts demanded of us soon emptied the coffers. We were as poor again as when Kozak had died. When I pointed this out to my mistress, she became very thoughtful and said she could do with some advice again from the Ferengi Quark.

I was very much against this. If not actually at war with the Federation, we weren't far from it and to see this Quark person we would have to go to DS9, a Federation controlled space station. When I ventured to suggest that this was not the wisest thing to do, Grilka became very much the proud aristocrat and reminded me that the blood of warriors ran in her veins and she scoffed at danger. I agreed to the venture on the condition that I came with her this time, and that she had a bodyguard at all times. I should have know she'd pick one more for his looks than his prowess with a bat'leth. Still, Tho'pak was clearly enamoured of her so was likely to be diligent in guarding her. I suppose I secretly hoped he'd kill that nasty little Ferengi, especially as Grilka seemed to think of him as some kind of financial miracle worker. Sadly, we were not actually at war by the time our ship reached the station, so we were given permission to dock and almost immediately we went to Quark's bar.

It pains me to recall the events on that station. Grilka was courted by a dishonoured Klingon, till I persuaded him that he would not be welcome in her presence. Worse than that, she was courted by the Ferengi, and did actually take him as a lover for one night after he had managed to defeat Tho'pak in a duel. I'll never understand how that happened. Tho'pak wasn't the Empire's finest fighter, but a mere Ferengi should have been a walk-over. He left Grilka's service after his defeat and enlisted as a humble marine.

Grilka having an affair with Quark was almost more than I could stomach. Fortunately she broke several of his bones in their encounter and while he found it an amazing experience, it was not one he cared to repeat.
As to what Grilka thought, I've never ventured to ask. She has never shown any interest in non-Klingons since, which probably speaks for itself. Anyway, she achieved the main purpose of her mission which was to find some way to restore the depleted fortunes of the House. Quark again found money where I had never thought to look, but he also came up with a suggestion Grilka really took to heart. There is money to be made in piracy, and when war threatens, there is never a better time.

My lady had dispatched me with specific instruction - Find me a captain!! - so off I went with a pocket full of credits into the old quarter of town. From my youth I knew this was the best place to look for the type we needed.

My first sight of D'lak was that of a drunken oaf. I was in the third bar of the night. It was full with warriors of all houses - the Capital was still a haven from blood feuds - and I was at the bar when D'lak and his crew came in. He was your typical lower house warrior, no breeding and an inflated opinion of his own greatness and numerous scars to show he had always met his match.

I approached his associates first. It was best not to come up to his sort directly. His first officer was called Chatl and was from a once honourable house that had fallen on hard times. He knew of my lady Grilka and her recent troubles and said he would speak to D'lak on our behalf. I was sitting just starting on my third tankard when D'lak sat opposite me. He was flanked by his two brothers - Torren and Maetal - and they were equally as loathsome as he. After relating the Ferengi's plan D'lak retired to talk it over with his brothers. At this time I noticed that the rest of his crew were having their own 'discussion' in the far corner, and they were becoming quite agitated. D'lak came back over and sat opposite me again.

"Tell your mistress that I will act as her agent in this matter but our cut will be greater; we are taking the greater risk."

I smiled to myself. Just as Quark had predicted, they had upped their price. I agreed and D'lak and his brothers left. I was just finishing my drink when Chatl came over. He sat in the same chair as D'lak and he was flanked by three of his crewmates.

"D'lak is not an honourable man. His father sided with Duras during the civil war and ever since they have tried to recoup their wealth. He will betray your mistress and sell her house to the highest bidder. I come from a once great house and know what it means to be out of favour, but would never lower myself to his level. For a small fee we will see to it that your mission succeeds and Grilka's fortune is restored."

I looked around at his crew. They were all older warriors. They knew the meaning of honour unlike the upstart D'lak. I leaned over to him.

"You can have his full fee if we all live through this, and your crew and ship will become the first in Lady Grilka's fleet."

They all cheered as I called for more bloodwine.

The association proved profitable enough for both parties. The coffers of our House grew, and we were able to think about building a few ships again and recruiting crew for them. Chatl's fortunes grew in tandem with ours, of course, and of necessity he and Grilka had to spend hours at a time together planning the next raids. Inevitably, Grilka wanted to do more than help plan raids. She wanted to be actively involved. As head of the House, she commissioned her own small bird of prey. I think it was against his better judgement, for few Klingon females have ever captained a ship and none has become a pirate, but Chatl helped her find suitable crew. There was no doubt that they became more successful with two ships able to engage their victims in pincer movements. Grilka tells me that most of the tactical planning was hers, but I rather doubt it. It takes a man's mind. I secretly gave Chatl the honours.

It should not have been a surprise that their relationship became more than just a business one. This love affair was different to the others Grilka had amused herself with. Chatl was, as he had told me, an old fashioned Klingon from a once honourable House, and he had very set ideas. For him theirs was a permanent arrangement from the first time they slept together, and he was a very jealous lover. Their quarrels were of epic proportions and by the time she agreed to marry him both ships had repair bills that almost swallowed up the proceeds of some raids. Still, the best of unions often have a stormy start.

The war with the Federation ended when it became clear there was an even bigger threat to the whole quadrant from the Dominion. So we joined forces with the Federation and even with the Romulans. Strange times indeed! At least we still had the Cardassians as enemy. Some things do not change. As loyal Klingons Grilka and Chatl wanted to join in the war effort. I had to applaud their spirit though I had to remind them that we had become impoverished by surrendering so many of our assets for the Federation War. In the end both ships were engaged in running supplies to the front line and never got involved in the fighting. Chatl and Grilka spent a lot of time bemoaning their fate, but it brought them closer together.

Their marriage coincided with the end of the Dominion War. Both were disappointed with the abrupt ending of the war as I knew they would have welcomed the chance to take their ships into battle at least once. The coming of peace in the sector meant that the opportunities for piracy diminished. No bad thing in my opinion. I prefer the orderliness of regular trade, and I could never approve of my lady becoming a pirate. Both ships were turned over to peaceful trading and not having to cover the costs of battle damage, they proved efficient and profitable carriers of the high class luxury goods which were back in demand. Grilka's Ferengi lover Quark would have approved!

We were now the House of Chatl and while we had no great battle honours to our credit, we hadn't done badly out of the war. With his wealth combined with Grilka's, Chatl was able to buy himself a good commission in the Klingon Defence Force. He is doing well and the future looks good. Who knows, in time he might even end up with a seat on the High Council.

Grilka calmed down after their marriage and has been a good wife to Chatl. They have one daughter and two sons, and her maid servant tells me she thinks another baby is on its way. Quite right too. I sleep easy in my bed knowing the House is being run the way it should be and that its future is secure. It has been the House of Kosak, the House of Quark and the House of Grilka. As the House of Chatl it is once more a proper Klingon House. I think even Grilka would agree it is the better for it. She may not have been the most conventional of ladies, but even she would agree with me that the old traditions are the best. Q'apla.

---- End ----